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- Lois: Is... is that your line?
- crisis: I don't think so... um, I don't think so.
- StewieMission: I... sorry, whose line is this?
- Gary: Cut! That was Peter's line. Where is Peter?
- [Peter enters the room]
- Pedro:Sorry, I was in my trailer eating nuts and smoking.
- Lois: Well, being in a family that also stars in a sitcom together is certainly not easy. Especially last year when I spotted these nude photos of this eighteen year old intern on Peter's cell phone, but he explained that his phone number was the old number of...er...his ex-boyfriend, so...what was that? once again? ... So the cloud. That's how it is. Well, the photos were in the cloud and the... the... the cloud took the photos, uh... I mean, even though the photos weren't sent directly to him and... that's why does he have them and we both called the apple store and they said they can't refute it's not happening and just like that, here we are. Still married. Still on the show... and... and it's happened five times since... some of the photos show both Peter and the girl.
- Pedro: Oh yeah. It's cool to do the show with your family, because what guy doesn't want to go into his office and have his family there? You know, and then after work you go home and meet the family,[becomes increasingly depressed as he continues speaking]and then uh... same thing the next day. I'm just trying to get through the weekend so you can, uh... spend time with the family... Isn't that the dream?
- James Wald: It's not just the Griffins that work hard to make somethingfamily manwhat is it. Here in the props department, a sweaty guy works on the Petercopter.
- sweaty boy: That's how it is. You know, a lot of people don't realize that SEAL Team Six actually completed their mission with that pup.
- [Cut to SEAL Team Six's assassination missionosama bin laden]
- Osama: Ach genial,family man! Here! I'm down here!
- Cenagal: Look, don't get me wrong folks. I find it hilarious... and I totally understand that the subject of sex has endeared me, but... would it kill us just once to tell a joke that brings glory to God?
- Pedro: You know I'm only hard on you because I hate you, right?
- Mega: Dad refuses to interact with any actors on set. Just try out helium balloons with crudely drawn faces.
- [cut to Peter showing a balloon drawing of Lois and Meg strapped to walkie-talkies]
- Pedro: I'm sorry Meg, but you're grounded.
- Mega:[via Walky Talky]But dad, the prom is tonight, it's over.
- Lois:[via Walky Talky]You hear your father, Meg, over.
- [A wheelchair with a globe and a walkie-talkie for Joe appears in the doorway]
- José:Peter, are you ready to go over to the Drunken Clam?
- Stewie: The fat man's behavior has deteriorated over time... and I think someone called the network anonymously about it.
- [cut to Stewie making a high-pitched voice on the phone]
- Stewie: You have no idea how bad it is here! He screams and screams and makes a V with his fingers and then licks it off like "luh-luh-luh-luh-luh" which I think is dirty! Please do something! And if possible, I'd appreciate a "Master Chef" t-shirt.
- Brian: The word on stage is that the decision has finally been made to fire Peter and replace him with another actor.
- Lois: And this time it is permanent. Not like when we killed Brian for a few episodes so he could make that shitty movie. What... what was that?
- Brian: It was a remake ofold screamerwhere the dog falls on him and kills him first.
- [Cut to Brian's Old Yeller movie where Travis is about to shoot Brian]
- Travis: I'm sorry.
- Brian:[points a gun at Travis]i don't feel it[shoots Travis]
- [cut to Brian]
- Brian: You miscalculated the number of dogs buying movie tickets.
- crisisIt's actually pretty uncomfortable. I mean, dad is the only one in the whole production who doesn't know he's getting fired.
- Mega: But you'll find out tomorrow at the reading table.
- [Adam West walks by dressed as Batman and climbs up a rope]
- Adam Westen: This is how we did it. I bet you didn't know.
- Gary: Well, everyone. Welcome to the reading chart for this week's episode entitled Peter Dies. We mean business. No joke. He's dead and he'll never come back."
- Pedro: Oh, and there are other sites. You have to convert them. Here, let me show you.
- Gary: Interior: Griffin's sitting room, day. Brian, Meg and Chris are watching TV, Lois comes in annoyed.
- Lois: Guys, I have terrible news. Your father is dead. He was shot in the head in the suicide. I guess he had his demons and his enemies.
- Pedro: Wait, I'm... I'm what? Oh.. oh I know Stewie will turn on his time machine and undo this.
- Gary: Stewie eintr.
- Stewie: Brian, bad news. My time machine has a virus that will kill Dad again if it's ever used.
- Pedro: Well, you know what? I bet that's all Chris' dream.
- crisis: wow! I'm wide awake.
- Pedro:Okay, but... there's no way this is real. You would have to get someone to replace me.
- Gary: Uncle Ricky, played by Comedy Vulture,David Espadabelongs in
- David Espada: Hello everyone.
- Family: Uncle Ricky!
- David Espada: Hi folks, called a period of time. You want an item back.
- [everybody is laughing]
- crisis: Aw, do we have to go to Dad's funeral? Let's play Uncle Ricky instead.
- Gary: The family applauds. You don't miss Peter.
- Garys Partner:Sorry Peter, but the production can't handle all your nonsense anymore. we let you go
- Pedro: Oh please. Do not do that! Please give me one more chance!
- Garys Partner:[sighs]good OK
- PedroFuck off!
- Garys Partner: Very good, that's all! You're fired!
- James Wald: welcome back toinner family type. I'm your host and angel investor of The Fappening, James Woods.
- [A guy rides a cut out jaw, with a Jupiter accessory wearing a kippah]
- Chico: This is Planet Jew-piter and I could say "Next year is my Star Mitzvah!"
- Live Studio Bouquet: Haha!
- Pedro: Hey, did I get mail?
- Hotelmanager: Yes, your death threatsgrinwere returned.
- Pedro: Well, has the Shamrock Shake period been extended?
- Lois: I have to admit that shooting a show without Peter is a bit strange. It just doesn't feel right.
- Stewie: I will especially miss the role of the fat man with the audience where he fires the shirt's cannon at his own head. You know he once tried to rob a store with that thing?
- [cut to Peter robbing a store with a t-shirt gun]
- Pedro: All right, everyone on the floor! Clear the record!
- Chico: Please dont do this!
- Pedro: Oh yeah? wanna be a hero This happens to heroes!
- [He fires a t-shirt at the guy.]
- Pedro: Anyone else want to be a hero?
- another boy: Ouch! Me! Me! Me! Here! Here!
- Pedro: The fact is I've grown too big for my panties, but now I know that...I'm nothing without you all.
- Stewie: Oh, that's nice of you to say that.
- Pedro: Thanks Stewie I can understand.
Quotes from the previous episode///Inside Family Guy-Zitate\\\Quotes from the next episode
<< Season 14 | Family Guy Staffel 15 | Season 16 >> | |||||||||
#01 | the boys in the band | #08 | Carter and Tricia | #15 | police and a fool | ||||||
#02 | Bookmaker of the Year | #09 | How the Griffin Stole Christmas | #sixteen | saturated fat boy | ||||||
#03 | gigg-olo american | #10 | Passagier Fatty-Seven | #17 | Peter's Lost Youth | ||||||
#04 | inner family type | #11 | Gronkow's bees | #18 | Peter's director | ||||||
#05 | Chris has a date, date, date, date, date | #12 | Peters Def Jam | #19 | very deported | ||||||
#06 | Hot Shots | #13 | the thinnest strings | #20 | A house full of Peters | ||||||
#07 | English in high school | #14 | The dating game |
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FAQs
What phrase is in every episode of Family Guy? ›
5. What the Hell? One of the more under-appreciated running jokes on Family Guy is the fact that someone says some version of "What the hell?" in every episode of the show.
What are some quotes from Lois Family Guy? ›Lois Griffin Quotes
“So you can cook your own damned turkey, wrap your own damned presents — and while you're at it, you can all ride a one-horse open sleigh to hell!” (To Meg) “Sweetheart, we all know you don't have any stuff to do.” “Yes, Tina Fey, you're better than Jesus.”
He is a neighbor and friend of the Griffin family and is best known for his hypersexuality and his catchphrase, "Giggity".
Which episode is inside Family Guy? ›Family Guy - Season 15 Episode 4: Inside Family Guy - Metacritic.
What does Giggity mean slang? ›(ˈɡɪɡɪtɪ ) exclamation. slang. an expression of delight, amusement, or relish. Word origin.
What was Stewie Griffin's first word? ›In the premiere to Family Guy's 19th season, entitled “Stewie's First Word”, the marrow-headed infant finally utters a word which is heard and understood by a church full of people. After Stewie yells “f***” in the middle of a sermon, Chris Griffin says: “Hey, Stewie said his first word, and it was a swear!”
Who did Lois Griffin sleep with? ›Sordid Sex Life
Lois also allows Peter a chance to bond with his favorite band, KISS, after it becomes clear that she had sex with frontman Gene Simmons, who in turn calls her “Loose Lois” as a nickname.
Lois is often portrayed as a stereotypical television mother and housewife, despite her admitting to being a recovering methamphetamine addict and a kleptomaniac.
Is Quagmire obsessed with Lois? ›Throughout the series, Quagmire has been shown to be madly in lust with Lois Griffin. However, all of his attempts to get her attention have failed, usually foiled by Peter and/or Brian. Quagmire is also an antagonist and a supporting character in the later seasons due to his deep hatred towards Brian.
What is the best Quagmire quote? ›Quagmire: “Giggity Giggity Goo!”
It's a no-brainer that “Giggity giggity goo!” is Quagmire's most memorable quote. From the beginning of the series, it's been his catchphrase. In the earlier seasons, it's one of the only things he says.
What disorder does Quagmire have? ›
Hypochondriasis: treatment options for a diagnostic quagmire.
What Quagmire says Giggity? ›Glenn Quagmire is known for his amped-up libido, so naturally, he'd have a catchphrase that goes along with it. When Quagmire's in the mood —which is usually all the time —he's heard using the expression “giggity” to show off his excitement.
What is the darkest episode of Family Guy? ›- Family Guy (TV Series 1999) ...
- "Family Guy" To Love and Die in Dixie (TV Episode 2001) ...
- "Family Guy" The Cleveland-Loretta Quagmire (TV Episode 2005) ...
- "Family Guy" Chick Cancer (TV Episode 2006) ...
- "Family Guy" Airport '07 (TV Episode 2007)
When Stewie and Brian travel to the 17th century and come close to altering the course of history, Stewie decides to destroy his time machine.
What is the weirdest episode of Family Guy? ›- Family Guy (TV Series 1999) ...
- "Family Guy" He's Too Sexy for His Fat (TV Episode 2000) ...
- "Family Guy" Family Guy Viewer Mail #1 (TV Episode 2002) ...
- "Family Guy" Road to the Multiverse (TV Episode 2009) ...
- "Family Guy" Brian & Stewie (TV Episode 2010)
/ˈkwæɡ.maɪr/ an area of soft, wet ground that you sink into if you try to walk on it: At the end of the game, the pitch was a real quagmire. a difficult and dangerous situation: Since the coup, the country has sunk deeper into a quagmire of violence and lawlessness.
What is a Quagmire slang? ›A quagmire is a dangerous place, like the muddy shoreline of a pond. Because it's so hard to climb out of a quagmire, the word has also come to mean any difficult or sticky situation you find yourself in. Long ago, quag was a synonym for "bog" or "marsh," a swampy area where water seems to sit instead of drain out.
What does Quagmire spell? ›“Quagmire.” Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary, Merriam-Webster, https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/quagmire.
What was Peter Griffin's original name? ›Peter Griffin | |
---|---|
Full name | Peter Löwenbräu Griffin Sr. |
Gender | Male |
Occupation | Brewery shipping clerk Former safety inspector at the Happy-Go-Lucky toy factory Former fisherman |
Family | Thelma Griffin (mother) Mickey McFinnigan (biological father) Francis Griffin (step-father) Chip Griffin (twin brother) Karen Griffin (sister) |
Following the F-bomb debacle, Stewie uttered his second word: “Mommy!” And although he wasn't willing to perform like a trained seal for Lois' “friends” on Instagram, the moment suggested that Stewie might not hate his mother as much as he once did.
What is Brian Griffin's first name? ›
- 1 Season 1: "Death Has A Shadow"
- 2 Season 2: "Da Boom"
- 3 Season 3: "To Love and Die in Dixie"
- 4 Season 4: "PTV"
- 5 Season 5: "Meet the Quagmires"
- 6 Season 6: "Lois Kills Stewie"
- 7 Season 7: "Three Kings"
- 8 Season 8: "Road to the Multiverse"
House—176 hours (7 days, 8 hours) The Vampire Diaries—171 hours (7 days, 3 hours) The Office—99 hours (4 days, 3 hours) Family Guy—165 hours (6 days, 21 hours)
Does Family Guy have cuss words? ›Once a show has been around long enough, certain things fall into the collective unconscious, just like Family Guy's made up curse word. Family Guy has been censored for using their own curse word that they invented.